America’s Sweetheart – Elle King
After my terrible relationship, checking myself in, medication being weird. I learned that people either love me or don’t.
I needed to stop caring about what other people thought of me. They have no idea what’s going on in my head any given day. I don’t have to prove myself to anyone, but myself. In 2014, my new years goal was “Don’t kill self”. Since we began working on this show, all I have been thinking about is hurting myself, and instead of doing makeup scars and cuts. Really cutting a bunch.
There is a line in my song that says “They don’t make posters of my kind of life.” and that is true. I don’t see people out there saying what’s wrong. I am not trying to prove to anyone who I am, This is who I am. I have pink hair, and I wear mint blue. I’ll wear two different flower patterns and try to justify they are both flowers and the same colors. I am who I am, BPD and all. Either you take me as I am or You have to move on. There is no other way I can be.
Some days I suck as a person to be around, I am sad and angry and I sleep all day. Others it’s the best day ever, and let’s get cake. There is no way from me to know what tomorrow will be. I am learning how to love myself every day, even on the days that suck. I try my best to be a good person, and my friends love me. They understand and know I try hard.
Most of this happens in my head often, If any of this applies to you, please get help, We have posted links and phone numbers there are people out there who want to help.
Stats on BPD
- BPD affects 10% of people in outpatient mental health treatment
- BPD affects 20% of patients admitted to psychiatric hospitals
- BPD affects 50% more people than Alzheimer’s disease and nearly as many as schizophrenia and bipolar combined (2.25%).
- BPD affects 5.9% of adults (about 14 million Americans) at some time in their life
- Problems regulating their emotions and thoughts
- Impulsive and sometimes reckless behavior
- Unstable relationships
- Fear of abandonment
- Unstable or changing relationships
- Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self
- Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors (e.g., excessive spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
- Suicidal behavior or self-injury
- Varied or random mood swings
- Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness
- Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights
- Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality