If I Were A Boy – Skyler Stecker
When I was 20 my Mother asked me “What’s it like to be with a woman?” And I told her it seemed much more natural than being with a man, that it felt like that was how it was supposed to be. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to hear my own answer, I had no idea what it was I’d just confessed. After 30 years of trying to be straight I realized that what feels normal to me isn’t what feels normal to every woman, and that being a lesbian isn’t a choice I can make, or thing I can change. It’s as much a part of me as the color of my eyes, and sound of my laughter.
You see that photo up there? I’d already developed my first attraction to another girl. I didn’t know that at the time, or all the years we went to school together. Or, when I looked for her on Facebook to see how she’s been. I can tell you she still has the most beautiful smile, eyes that sparkle, and that I understand now this is what a genuine attraction feels like.
For many years it’s been pretty common for women my age to suddenly “come out” because we were raised by families raised by Victorians. We were told that we needed to get married and have babies. So when our kids are grown and out of college, and life gives you time to think about yourself, you begin to think about your Self. It’s hard when you’re life story has suddenly changed, when Prince Charming turns out to be a lesbian, and happily ever after includes two periods of menopause.
You can’t just put dating down to drunken experimentation anymore it’s time to learn how to meet other women who want to be with women. And, oh my gosh! There’s date planning, and figuring out who pays for what, what kind of woman do you like, what type of lesbian are you? You’ll even have to deal with skepticism from the “gold star lesbians” who think that a woman who’s slept with a man isn’t really a lesbian – maybe she’s bisexual. Oh…yeah…and what kind of sex do you really like?
It’s a whole new world to explore, a place where everything feels right and normal.